Easter 2011 Baptisms: Eliane

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Easter 2011 Baptisms: Eliane

Category : Baptism , Updates

Eliane will be baptized on Easter Sunday.  This is her testimony.

My life before I trusted Jesus
Before I trusted in Jesus, I was a sinner.  I had made so many mistakes that caused me to lose everything and everyone I love.  I couldn’t find my direction and didn’t know where my life is going. I felt so alone, helpless and there is no one to help me.  I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep and started to get very sick.  I felt I had hit the rock bottom of my life. So much pain, sorrow, and regrets that I feel my life had come to an end.

What led me to trust in Jesus
A friend of mine gave me a Bible and told me to trust God.  He told me God is the only one that can save and help me and lead me to a better and peaceful life.  I didn’t believe at first because I couldn’t understand why God can love a sinner like me.  One night I was feeling so sad and depress that I felt that I was going crazy.  I didn’t know what to do than I saw the Bible on my desk, I picked it up and started to read it.  I was so touched with what I read and decided that I want to get to know God and Jesus more.  I wanted to attend church but I couldn’t find one that I feel comfortable to go.  So, I begin to pray and asking God and Jesus to help me.  Two weeks later, I found New Life and met Mike and Carolyn.  Mike told me that “God loves us so much that he gave us his only son that die for us and use his blood wash away all our sins.  Regardless of what we did before if we repent our sins to God will still forgive and love us”.  I was so surprised and touched by this and I decided that I want to get to know God and Jesus more and I want them to be in my life.

The impact of trusting in Jesus in my life
I started to go to the New Life every Sunday and I felt so peaceful every time when I was there.  I also felt my pains and sorrows were been lifted by God’s love and my heart just feel lighter and lighter.  I don’t feel as depress anymore and I started to get better and feel better physically and emotionally.  I can feel and see there is still hope in life and I’m not alone because God will always be with me.

在未信主前,我個性屬於比較內向,容易緊張很害怕犯錯,小時候怕在成績上犯錯,害怕母親老師失望,沒有達到他們期待的成績標準,長大則是怕在人際關係上犯錯,怕朋友同儕不理我,讀研究所時怕老師放棄我。所以我常因為未預期的事情發生就會感到焦慮,非得要等處理好覺得滿意後,心裡才會平靜。研究所畢業後回到高雄工作,我遇到大學同系的學姊,我記得剛進大學時這位學姐曾帶我去團契,但那時剛脫離聯考壓力,所以很享受大學生活多采多姿也交了很多朋友,後來就沒有繼續接觸。

剛回高雄工作的時候,我是新手需要受訓,但那時因為與男友感情不和以及受訓表現上頻頻不佳,雙重打擊下產生很大的罪惡感、自卑、憂鬱、羞愧、不相信自己也不信任別人,種種造成極度的不安全感,高中聯考時期那種極度的焦慮感又回來了,從小到大我晚上常常睡不好,白天發生的事晚上睡夢中就會再重演一遍,壓力愈大,焦慮感就會愈嚴重,白天的工作表現就會失常,在不斷的惡性循環下,我發覺自己的生活已經嚴重失序,情緒低落到嚴重程度時邊走路,腦中還會浮現自殺的畫面,還好那時學姐帶我認識很多基督徒的朋友,大學的麻吉也回高雄,在朋友陪伴下,我想說不要讓自己一個人關在宿舍會胡思亂想,所以開始騎腳踏車運動、學攝影,走出去與朋友聚會。在朋友介紹下我參加空中英語教室在火車頭教會的英文查經班,才開始接觸聖經,一開始我只是當作故事在讀,有時也會懷疑聖經記載的事情是真實的嗎?為什麼大家開口閉口都是上帝耶穌?還有為什麼連芝麻綠豆的事也要禱告?腦中都會有很多質疑,但慢慢的我發現每次上課完,回到宿舍身心都會覺得好舒服,甚至下班時候的那種疲累,在上完查經班後完全不見,彷彿變成那支廣告中的電池充滿了能量,也因為這樣我幾乎不缺席,直到有一次我們讀到約書亞記,最後大家一起朗讀一小段經文說:「你當剛強壯膽,所以,你不要懼怕,也不要驚慌,因為你無論到哪裡去,耶和華 你的神必與你同在」,等大家閉眼禱告時,我很感動地流下眼淚,原來我不需要害怕因為有一個慈愛的神一直陪伴我。從那時候我開始深入研讀聖經,了解到世界上有成千上萬的人在研究聖經,很多考古遺跡也證實了聖經中描寫的歷史事件的確真實存在,我也愈來愈相信這位神雖然看不見也摸不到,但是祂確實存在。

在一個偶然的機會下,我參加今年二月在高雄巨蛋所舉辦的天國文化醫治佈道會,進去後感覺會場上散發著說不上來的氣氛,有許多幫人禱告的基督徒朋友(禱告醫治同工)都主動而且很溫柔很親切地幫身體或心理受病痛困擾的人禱告,後來台上的樂團開始演奏輕快有力的詩歌,好奇的我又覺得很奇怪大家為什麼會如此陶醉和感動。可是當牧師請在場所有的人閉上眼睛然後舉起手,他帶領大家禱告時,霎那間我感受到一種很溫暖很溫和,無法形容的感覺像水流灌進我的手、身體到心,我開始不停地流眼淚,好像聽到有人說:「孩子,我好愛好愛你」。原來我焦慮和害怕沒有安全感,因為我不想讓在乎的人失望,這個感動突然解答了我困惑已久的答案。我不需要害怕失去誰的愛,因為天父的愛是完全地接納我們,祂不看外表或成就,只看內心。於是當晚我就決志信主了。

開始信主後,我並沒有因為這樣就變成無敵鐵金剛,甚麼都不怕,但我經歷一些奇妙的事,例如有一次,一些不堪回首的記憶 (例如小時候曾被性騷擾,有一些上了癮的壞習慣等)突然一件件在腦海中重演,我甚至羞愧或難過到大哭無法禱告,奇妙的是我每次都能找到符合內心想訴說的詩歌,一邊聽一邊唱出想禱告的詞,透過不斷的禱告祈求神的力量與讀聖經去饒恕別人與坦承自己的錯誤,更令我驚訝的是,後來這些記憶雖然在,但卻不再有強烈的情緒,取而代之的是平安,從當中我也學習到饒恕、謙卑與耐心等待。這些經歷對我來說,應證了耶穌不但是一個萬能的心理治療師,還是又真又活的神。感謝上帝愛每個人,祂向每個人伸出手,滿心希望我們握住手,好拉出我們離開谷底,以前的我總是想為什麼我會變成這樣,總是努力試著想找到解答,但只有上帝知道為什麼我們的人生會遭遇到這一切,而我們要學習倚靠祂的愛去經歷。

信主後我回想過去,才恍然大悟,原來祂派了許多小天使在我身邊,一直提醒我祂就在我面前伸出手等我握住,直到我握住祂的手,祂無條件的愛開始不斷地醫治我心理的疾病,與我一起渡過人生痛苦的深淵,祂的話語(聖經)也教導真理,教我面對與處理問題,讓我的內在不被這些負面情緒給綁住,誠實面對內心來釋放自己得到心裡真正的自由,也因為這滿滿的愛讓我緊緊地握住祂的手不想放。

願上帝祝福每個人,我想藉著自己的故事告訴大家這個天大的好消息,不要覺得人生沒有希望,沒有人了解你,假裝自己一切都很好,因為神就在我們面前等候,等我們願意開門迎接,接受祂滿滿的祝福和愛。最後感謝主帶領大家來參加我的重生派對,一起慶祝那個愛哭又愛笑的蔡宜霖復活囉!!

 

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2 Comments

ma. cristina latoja galvez

March 27, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I wanna say thank you to New Life Bilingual Church family for their heartfelt welcoming us in this Church eventhough I attended nce in a while due to the nature of my job, and it’s really a great priviledge to be with the NLBC family. 🙂
I pray that God may continue to bless all the pastors and staff of this church so they may continue to spread the gospel with everybody. God bless and more power!

    newlife

    March 27, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    Thanks, Cristina!! If your job ever allows you to come worship with us again, we’d love to have you come join us.

    God bless you and your family.

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Welcome to the New Life Bilingual Church in Kaohsiung, Taiwan! Join the New Life community in worship every Sunday at 4:00 PM! 歡迎到台灣高雄的新生命雙語教會! 來參與每週日下午四點 新生命社區團體的主日崇拜。

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