Cristina’s testimony Cristina 的見證
Category : Baptism
Before I came to know Jesus Christ, I was so proud, used to smoke and get drunk. I took my parents advice for granted. And I always disobeyed them. I didn’t listen to anyone except to myself. I did whatever I wanted in my life; in short, I was so selfish and nothing was more important to me but myself. I did a lot of stupid stuff; that was why it took me 9 years before I graduated in college. I stole money from my dad’s bakery, got kick back from my tuition just to have a budget for my vices (luxury/ extravagant) and gimmicks (hang out with my friends). I also had premarital affair with my boyfriend. Because of being disobedient to my parents, I got pregnant at an early age and decided to live with the guy without being married for 6 years. Even though I already had my own family, I still continued with my vices (luxury/ extravagant) and gimmicks (hang out with my friends) coz my parents and my in-laws supported our family when we had financial matters. At first, money was never an issue in our family. My husband was working as a Philippine National Police Officer. I continued with my studies till I finished it in 2007.
在我認識耶穌基督前，我很自豪、有抽煙也喝酒。我把父母的意見當耳邊風，我從不聽話。以前我除了自己，不聽任何人的話。我做任何我想做的，總之，我很自私，沒有什麼比我自己更重要的。我做了很多愚蠢的事，這就是為什麼我大學花了9年才畢業。我偷我爸麵包店的錢，被退學因為我亂花學費又和朋友出去。我也和男友有婚前性行為。因為不聽父母的話，我很年輕就懷孕了 也決定沒結婚就和那男的生活在一起6年。即使我已有家庭了，因為我父母和我公婆在我們有財務問題時 有幫我們 我就繼續亂花錢和和朋友出去。起初，錢都不是問題。我丈夫是個菲律賓國家警察。我繼續我的學業，於2007年完成。
On March 08, 2008 my husband and I decided to get married, we did it for the security of our relationship and for the sake of our little daughter coz he got involved with another woman which started on 2005. I had small bakery and softdrink dealership businesses, but unfortunately they didn’t become successful. Still I didn’t care about the lost because I was so proud; and I just told myself that those businesses I had were not meant for me, so I continued to live my wicked life. I kept on telling myself I could do it on my own, and soon everything would be fine; but, unfortunately, our relationship became worst. Every time I saw him, I saw his unfaithfulness and I always reproved it to him, and to him, I was being selfish, insensitive and greedy, so we started fighting about anything, without considering our daughter’s feelings. Till the day came that we had to let her go and stay with my In-laws to support her studies. It was so painful for us as parents to stay away from our only child. I was depressed and frustrated for not giving or providing her a good education that she deserves. My wonderful world became full of darkness but still I acted stubborn. I tried to get even with his infidelity but the feeling of emptiness was still within me. I was looking for love, respect, and acceptance still I hadn’t found it. Unnoticeably, my family got separated, my daughter lived with my In-laws, my husband got too much involved with his vices (luxury/ extravagant) such as womanizing, and I became more liberated, our car got lost because of the flood Ondoy, and my relationship with my In-laws were gradually destroyed. This was the time that I realized that all my stupidity and being self-centered took a toll on me.
在2008年3月8日，我丈夫和我決定結婚，為了給彼此安全感也為了我們的小女兒。因為他於2005年開始有另一個女人。我那時在做麵包店和飲料店的生意，但不幸的生意不好。儘管如此，我並不在乎這失敗，因為我很驕傲，我告訴自己我不適合那些生意，所以我繼續過著我邪惡的生活。我不斷告訴自己我自己可以的，很快一切都會好起來。但不幸的，我們的關係變壞。每當我看到他，我看到他的不忠就數落他。對他來說，我很自私，不顧別人想法，貪心，我們開始什麼都吵，不顧女兒的感覺。直到那天，為了她的學業 我們必須讓她和公婆住。這對為人父母的我們來說 要遠離我們唯一的孩子很痛苦。我很鬱悶和沮喪因為我沒供給她 她應得的好教育。我美好的世界變黑了，但我仍舊固執。我試著圖報復他的不忠，但我仍覺得空虛。我那時在尋找愛，尊重和接受，但我沒有找到。不知不覺，我的家散了，我的女兒和公婆住，我丈夫忙著花錢 沉於女色等，我也比較釋懷了。我們的車因Ondoy淹水而沒了，我與公婆的關係也逐漸毀滅。這個時候我才意識和明白到我的愚蠢和自我。
In the year 2009, I decided to go to school and study professional caregiving. Since my relationship with my husband was not good and I couldn’t stand his infidelity, I left the house and went back to my parents. When I finished my caregiving course, I applied to work in Taiwan to run away from my messy and terrible marriage life. Luckily, I got hired to take care of a grandmother. My employer provided me my own room wherein I had privacy. I started praying and having conversations with God and I kept on asking him, why these things happened in my family coz it was not the kind of family I’d dreamt of. I did not get any answer for all my questions but instead God showed me that there was also something wrong with me. I prayed to God to help me to change, I asked for His forgiveness and mercy. My faith became deeper when my friend sent an offline message to my yahoo messenger stating: “Hi Tins!!! Watch this and I’m sure you’ll be blessed. www.ccf.org.ph/stream.” as soon as my work was done, I visited the link and the topic was all about love. As I watched the worship service on February 2011, it impacted my life. I realized that I was so selfish and doomed to go to hell but because of the unconditional love of our Lord Jesus Christ, He lifted me up and made me feel that only He can fill all the emptiness I had inside. I repented, humbled myself and surrendered everything to God including my marriage and let him take over. In the past, I talked to other people with arrogance but suddenly it’s changed. I’ve also learned how to love, respect, accept other people as they are, and totally give my forgiveness to my husband and his other woman. I sent a letter to him, sharing how God transformed me. Almost every day, I send him words of God thru text messages, I also share with him what I have learned by watching the worship services at church every week. God is truly amazing coz I see the changes in my marital relationship. All the unwholesome and rebuking words, by God’s grace, were all suddenly changed. Every day as I walk my Christian life, my faith with our Lord Jesus Christ becomes deeper and I even try to share the gospel with all of my friends online.
在2009年，我決定再上學學習專業照顧，因為我與我丈夫的關係並不好，我也不能忍受他的不忠，我離家，回到我父母身邊。我完成課程時 申請到台灣的工作機會 來逃離我混亂和可怕的婚姻生活。幸運的，我受聘照顧一個奶奶。我雇主給我自己一間房間 我有自己的隱私。我開始禱告，與神對話，我一直問他為什麼這些事情發生在我家中，因為這不是我夢寐以求的家庭。我並沒有得到任何回答但上帝讓我看到我的問題。我禱告希望上帝幫助我改變，我請祂原諒和憐憫我。我朋友寄給我一個雅虎離線消息說“Tins！！看這個，我肯定 這會祝福妳。 www.ccf.org.ph / stream.” 使我的信仰深固。我工作一完成，就到那網站，所有的主題都有關愛。我看了2011年2月的崇拜，它影響了我的生活。我知道我的自私也知道我注定要下地獄，但因我們主耶穌基督無條件的愛，祂高舉我，讓我感覺到只有祂能填補我內心所有的空虛。我悔改，謙卑自己，並交託一切給神，包括我的婚姻，讓祂來接管。在此之前，我和別人說話都很自負，但突然改變。我也學會如何去愛，尊重，和單單接受他人，也完全寬恕我丈夫和他的女人。我寄了一封信給他，分享上帝是如何改變我的。幾乎每天我都發經節簡訊給他，我也分享我每週在教會崇拜所理解的。上帝真的很了不起，我看到我婚姻關係的變化。所有不健康和譴責的話 因上帝的恩典 都忽然被改變了。每天當我活出我的信仰，我對我們主耶穌基督的相信就越深，我也嘗試在線上與我所有的朋友分享福音。
A test of faith happened, my husband passed away on july 15,2011. I was in taiwan when I heard the devastating news and, in addition to that, my In-laws didn’t want me to go and see the burial. They decided to cut their communication with me and buried my husband immediately. It was so painful to the point that I questioned GOD. Why did you allow this thing to happen? Why didn’t you give him a chance to change and know You more? I prayed to God to help me to understand everything and help me to accept the fact that I could no longer see or be with him for the rest of my life. I stood still to my faith on july 19. I arrived Manila and immediately went to his burial. My In-laws sent me out of the house and did not allow me to attend the burial. Despite of the humiliation I got from his family, I held onto God’s Promise in the book of Deuteronomy 31:6 says: “Be determined and confident. Do not be afraid of them. Your God the Lord himself, will be with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.”
有個信心的考驗，我丈夫在 2011年7月15日去世了。當我聽到這超壞消息時 我人在台灣，此外，我公婆不希望我去參加葬禮。他們決定切斷與我的溝通和立即埋葬我丈夫。這痛苦讓我懷疑上帝。祢為什麼允許這種事情發生，你為什麼不給他一個機會改變也更認識祢呢? 我祈禱上帝幫助我明白一切並幫助我接受這不能再看到他或與他共度餘生的事實。我信心不動搖，於7月19日抵達馬尼拉，然後馬上到他葬禮。我公婆把我請出家門，並沒有讓我參加葬禮。儘管受他家人的辱，我握住上帝在申命記31:6的承諾, “你們當剛強壯膽，不要害怕，也不要畏懼他們，因為耶和華─你的神和你同去。他必不撇下你，也不丟棄你。”
During those toughest times of my life, our Lord Jesus Christ has remained faithful, gracious and merciful.
I may never know what God’s plan for me is, but I simply Trust his heart. 🙂
To God be the Glory!
Victory in Christ;